Day 10 — Becoming Mr. Miyagi
A few months ago, I officially crossed over the line into “old.” As I approached the dreaded 50, I found myself avoiding birthday celebrations.
This wasn’t too difficult since I often have to share my birthday with others. My wife’s birthday is just four days before mine, and we usually have a joint celebration. I like to think I look like a good guy when I tell her, “Honey, we’re celebrating you. This is your day.”
A few years ago, our extended family welcomed a new addition. My little nephew, EJ, was born just two days before my birthday, which meant I had to share my special day with that adorable attention-hog as well.
Last year, as I prepared to turn 50, I suggested that we needed a special theme for our joint birthday party. I asked little EJ, “What do you want to do for our birthday party?”
EJ declared, “I want to have a ‘Big Trucks’ birthday party!”
I shook my head and said, “But I want to have a ‘Dinosaur’ party!”
EJ narrowed his eyes and scrunched his face as we stared each other down. Then inspiration struck him.
He shouted enthusiastically, “I know! Let’s have ‘Dino-Trucks!’”
We celebrated with high-fives, and that’s how I ended up celebrating my 50th birthday with a Dino-Trucks-themed party.
Turning 50 made me realize that I’m solidly in the second half of my life. Hopefully, I’m still in the third quarter and not the fourth.
Years ago, I read a leadership book by Robert J. Clinton, a professor at Fuller Seminary, called “The Making of a Leader.” If I remember correctly, Clinton outlines four stages in the life of a leader:
1. Squire
- learning, watching, and helping
2. Knight
- facing challenges and making heroic choices
3. King
- leading others and making decisions
4. Sage
- influencing others through wisdom and experience
In my own life, these stages blend together. The Squire stage was more defined than the others. For the last 20 years, I have played a combination of the Knight and the King in different settings.
Now, I am fully stepping into the role of the Sage. I used to dream of being in charge and making significant things happen, but today, I feel tired just thinking about all the responsibilities I had.
Now, I find more joy in mentoring emerging leaders and celebrating their successes than in my own achievements.
I’ve heard people say that parenting is challenging, but being a grandparent is a joy. I imagine that being a “Sage” is similar to how grandparents must feel.
At 50 years old, I realize that I’m older than my mentors were when they began mentoring me.
So today, I’m happily embracing the “Mr. Miyagi” role.
Here’s a mind-blowing fact: Ralph Macchio (Daniel LaRusso) is now 11 years older than Pat Morita (Mr. Miyagi) was when they released the original “Karate Kid” movie in 1984. Crazy!
So what about you? What stage are you in? Who among you is joining the ranks of the “Sage”?
Always onward,
Thien
